My Best Friend
by SophiaWinter
Summary: Set after s4e09 when Stefan finds out about Elena and Damon's... union. This is a story about Caroline and Stefan, during which you will see how their friendship evolves, how they protect and challenge each other. There might be some feelings involved though I won't reveal anything in the summary. T for now, M in a few chapters..
1. Trust Is Everything

_Originally a oneshot because during the last episodes I've gotten this idea in my head that Stefan should be with Caroline! Am I crazy?_

_Either way, hope you like this. I have lots of plans for Caroline and Stefan in that case. _

* * *

**1. Trust Is Everything**

* * *

"Yeah you're right Stefan," she said, turning her eyes from his and gazed into the fireplace. "trust is everything."

Stefan was her best friend and she couldn't stand keeping him in the shadows anymore, it wasn't right. Elena and his brother had been together for several days now and they hadn't even told him yet. He deserved to know!

Although this wasn't technically her decision to make, and definitively not her place to tell him, she couldn't keep this from him anymore. Elena wanted Caroline to keep this from Stefan and let Elena tell him when it suited_ her_ but she had had plenty of time. This was just selfish.

Caroline took a deep breath and decided to start lightly by asking if Damon had hinted something.

"Have you heard from Damon?"

"Yeah, he's still with Jeremy at the lake house."

"Did he happen to mention where Elena was?" she asked slowly, wondering if this really was a good idea.

A crease appeared between Stefan's eyebrows.

"Wait why are you asking me this?" he asked, approaching her.

She didn't know what to say. What should she say?

"They're together, aren't they?" he asked, sinking down on the leather couth besides her, burying his face in his palms.

She opened her mouth but she couldn't formulate something to say. What could she say that wouldn't hurt him?

"How together are they?" he asked, his voice low and raw. He almost looked scared to find out the truth.

His eyes. Those gray eyes that had given her the strength to get out of bed in the mornings for the last two years, those endless pools of dark water became darker and deeper. Desperate. As he was waiting for an answer she felt herself getting pulled in, as if she would drown in them if she didn't look away. So she looked away.

"_Tell me._" He turned towards her in the sofa. "_How_ together _are they_?" He demanded again, pulling up her chin with his fingers so that she couldn't escape his gaze.

This wasn't _fair_! He knew she couldn't lie to him.

The second their eyes met he knew.

His eyes welled up with tears and just when Caroline had thought his eyes couldn't give away more emotion, they did. They screamed of desperation and sheer_ hurt_ and Caroline felt so helpless.

The three seconds he was still felt like several minutes. Caroline had never felt so helpless in her entire life. She wanted to embrace him like a mother and blow the pain away, she wanted to kill Elena and Damon for him, she wanted to take his pain and inflict it on herself, _anything_ to make him hurt less, but she couldn't. She wanted to say something, anything to ease his pain, but there wasn't anything to say. Nothing could make this better.

Stefan slowly let his trembling fingers slip away from her face and sped up from the couch just when Caroline was about to hug him. He didn't want to be coddled like a baby! And he didn't think he would be able to control himself if anyone touched him. He wanted to_ hurt_ someone. He wanted to_ beat_ someone up until they hurt as much as he did. He wanted to _kill_. He wanted to tear into warm flesh and drink and drink and drink until he couldn't see straight anymore and then he wanted to beat someone up again.

Caroline watched him as he pushed down the chess piece from the table in front of him and she knew that he would have to let it all out. All the confusion and the rage and the _hurt_. So she would let him destroy the living room in the boarding house. She would even stay with him. She wanted to be there for him, even if he didn't want her to. Even though he didn't want to talk or a shoulder to cry on she would stay with him.

So she stayed while he picked up the chess table and threw it against the wall. She stayed as he lifted up the antique coffee table and threw it against the wall, small pieces of cherry wood scattering all over the living room. She stayed as he sped to Damon's fancy liquor cabinet and threw every one of the old bottles into the fire place and then smashed the entire cabinet.

Fifty-two minutes later Caroline walked into Stefan's room on the second floor. The house was finally quiet and the only thing she could here was his erratic breathing. The room was a mess, just like the living room. A mess of splintered wood, shards of glass, scattered papers and books everywhere. And in the middle of it all, on his king sized bed with a broken headboard, lay Stefan. He was lying on his back stirring up at the ceiling, his hair disheveled, his chest moving way too fast, but he didn't move as Caroline approached him. It broke her heart, because even though he wasn't curled up in a ball or crying or tearing pieces of his hair from his scalp she had never seen him this broken. And it scared her.

It scared the shit out of her to see the rock she'd been leaning on the past few years hurt like this.

A couple of feathers flew up in the air as she sat down on the opposite side of the bed but Stefan didn't acknowledge her presence. She was scared but she needed to push that fear aside, because Stefan needed her to be strong now. It was her time to take care of him for a change, she decided as she pulled herself together and carefully lay down beside him on the bed.

He still didn't move, and she didn't know if he wanted to be comforted or left alone. But she knew one thing; she knew that she didn't want him to be alone. So she slowly, as if not to startle him, inched her body closer to his until her torso touched the side of his. Then she put her small hand in his big loose hand, just to make him know that she was there.

She wanted to tell him that Elena didn't deserve his love, nor did Damon, but she knew it wouldn't make it better. She wanted to tell him that _she_ loved him, but she knew it wasn't enough, so she was quiet.

Half a minute went by and he still hadn't moved. Caroline started to think that maybe she should just lay on the other side of the bed. But just as she was about to let go of him, his grip tightened around her hand. He rolled over on his side and laid his head on her shoulder and an arm around her waist, like a child with his mother.

As Caroline placed her hand on the nape of his neck and started stroking his hair Stefan took a deep shaky breath and relaxed for the first time in a long, long time.

* * *

_And that's a wrap! So this was just a oneshot I had to get out of my system to be able to keep writing my other fanfic about Caroline and Damon but now that I sat down and wrote this I was hit with like a bunch of inspiration to continue this story about Stefan and Caroline. Do you think I should continue with this story? Is it worth it?_

_As always, constructive critisism is appreciated! And tell me if you think I should continue with this story! See you soon!_


	2. Heal

_Ok so I was totally blown away when I opened my email the other day and saw how much attention this fic had gotten! I love you guys for being so committed to my stories! You are all pushing me to write, your commitment is what inspires me the most!_

_(And for those who hasn't read any of my previous stories I will say this again: English is _not_ my mother langugage, so please excuse me if there are certain spelling or grammar mistakes in the text.)_

_So obviously, I've decided to make this oneshot a whole story. I've been up all night writing this so I hope you like it. _

* * *

**2. Heal**

* * *

They stayed in bed all night, barely moving, and when the sun came up they were still in the same position. Stefan never let go of her and she didn't let go of him.

When the morning came Stefan finally fell asleep, probably because of mental exhaustion. God knows what had been going on inside of that big head of his. He still clung to her though, with a steel grip around her midriff and his head upon her shoulder.

Caroline kept stroking his hair, it seemed to soothe him, and started doing what she did best; devising a plan.

* * *

She took him to Spain. To the sun, to the beaches, to the food, to everything _not_ Elena.

She told him they needed a break from Mystic Falls, a vacation, and dragged him out of bed.

"Somewhere sunny" she answered with a light smile when he asked her where she was taking him. That was the last thing he said for a long time. He needed the silence, and for once, Caroline understood that.

Though he was quiet, he never complained. He let her lead the way and she took that as a sign that he trusted her. They were quiet through the whole trip to the air port, the flight and in the taxi to the hotel, though it was a comfortable silence.

Many people thought Caroline were too cheery and overly talkative, and pretty much that she couldn't shut up. But contrary to popular beliefs she had a calm side too. Stefan, especially, evoked that side of her, she had learned since they became friends a long time ago.

When they arrived at the hotel it was dark outside. The air was warm and moist and it was quiet, apart from the cicadas that was singing in the palm trees. It was peaceful, just like Caroline had wanted. The hotel was situated right at the beach and they were shown to a one room apartment with a bathroom, a small balcony and a room with two beds, a table with some chairs, a sofa, a TV and a fridge. She had called the hotel before they got there to make sure that they got a room with a fridge so that they could store blood bags somewhere.

It wasn't much and she was sure he would've wanted more space, maybe a room for himself, but this was all she could do on such short notice. It would have to do.

They were both tired after the long day of traveling so they ended up going straight to bed, separate beds this time.

Stefan was lying on his back and Caroline on her side, watching him. Just when Caroline was starting to fall asleep Stefan spoke for the first time.

"Thank you Caroline."

Caroline opened her eyes and looked at him. She smiled lightly, but didn't say anything. She knew he knew she had heard it and that was all she needed. Then she closed her eyes again.

* * *

Two days later they were lying on the beach in their new swimwear, drinking something out of coconuts with umbrellas sticking out of them and on the table between them a tray with different exotic fruits had been placed, just a moment ago.

"Have you compelled them to be our servants or something?" Stefan asked, amused that the staff came running with different kinds of food and beverages all day.

"Maybe…" she answered mischievously.

"You did?!" he took off his wayfares and pushed himself up with his elbows only to give her one of his many _parenting_ looks.

"Yes _dad_, I did."

"Caroline you can't do that."

"Why not?" she asked him, taking a slice of water melon from the tray. "It's not like it's _them_ I'm eating." She emphasized wiggling her eyebrows in an impressive resembling imitation of Damon.

"Besides, you need to learn not to feel so guilty all the time. Life is a lot more fun this way!"

"But it's not right." He said and Caroline could literally see his forehead scrunch up again.

"Oh don't go all Edward with me now with the no soul-shit." She sighed, sitting up in her sunbed, adjusting her baby blue bandeau bikini top. "It's in our nature, we were meant to do it. And you don't need to use it to hurt people."

"I just don't think it feels right doing it if it's not vital or at least necessary."

"Well _I_ think that it's a gift we've been given." She said stubbornly, taking off her aviator shades and putting them in her hair. "I _also_ think that you really should try to embrace it."

She saw that he was going to object so she put her hands in the air to show that the discussion was over.

"I know how you feel Stefan and I respect that." She said laying her hand over his giving it a light squeeze and Stefan smiled lightly.

* * *

"Have you noticed that everybody at our hotel and this beach are really old?" he asked her one night as they ate tapas and shared a bottle of red wine in a small quiet restaurant by the sea.

"Yeah that was pretty much the point. I thought you'd enjoy being around people your age grandpa." Caroline joked.

"_Ha ha,_ you should be a comedian Caroline." He said sarcastically.

"Is that sarcasm I hear Mr. Salvatore? I think we're making progress." She said nudging him lightly with her elbow. "No but honestly, I just didn't think you'd be up to go to some party island or some place with a lot of young people hitting on you." She said honestly and Stefan chuckled, a bit embarrassed.

"Though obviously this wasn't enough cause even these grandma's are making moves on you. I can't take you anywhere." She sighed, pretending to be annoyed.

And Stefan laughed for real this time. Every time she got him to laugh was an award for her, because she knew how much he was hurting and she wanted so bad to take that pain away from him. So when he laughed she knew the pain was gone for at least a couple of seconds, and that was more than nothing.

"Why Spain then?"

"I don't know really, I just thought we needed the sun." Caroline answered, plopping a piece of cucumber in her mouth. "And we needed to relax and Spaniards are like the _laziest_ people I know, I mean they go home from school and close their stores every day at noon to go home and take _naps_? Come on how lazy isn't _that_?" she asked making a funny face and Stefan had to put his hand in front of his mouth when he snickered because he had food in it.

"Yeah so that's why I chose this place. Why, would you rather have gone somewhere else?"

"No, no. It's perfect Care." He caught her gaze and smiled, trying to show her with his eyes much he appreciated her doing this. "I actually thought that you would drag me to Ibiza or something."

"Hell no." she shook her head. "Though there_ will_ be partying later on." She said with her business voice and a dead serious facial expression.

"Okay." He said finishing his wine, once again surprising her by not complaining.

"Yep we're going to wake up the _fun_ Stefan that's been dead for like, a century."

"And Caroline the comedian strikes again." He said rolling his eyes, filling up their glasses then looking at her again. "Do you know CPR? Cause your humor is killing me right now."

Caroline clapped her hands way too loud and all the other (older) guests in the restaurant turned their way, but she didn't care. "Wow Stef, we've really made some progress today! If we carry on with this speed the fun Stefan will be resurrected in no time." She said nudging him in the side.

"Now where's the dessert meny?"

* * *

Stefan sat on their small balcony one night, his feet perched on the low railing and the back of his chair against the brick wall. He'd been having a hard time sleeping these last couple of days. So after he'd tossed back and forth for a while he used to go out on the balcony and just listen to his raging thoughts instead of trying to block them out. He could sit there for hours, just enjoying the cool breeze, staring at the stars, the beach and the dark water that seemed so much lighter in the day.

And he thought about Elena. He thought about when they first met, before Damon was in the picture, how they fell in love, how she'd been there for him when he slipped up and drank human blood for a while, how he'd been there for her during everything. Jenna and Ricks deaths, everything Klaus put them through. They had shared so much and been through so much together. She had meant everything to him, and he had meant everything for her. At least he thought so before Damon nestled himself in, and Elena _let_ him.

And he thought about Damon. His brother, his only brother. His only family. He couldn't for the life of it understand how his own brother could do this to him.

The first days he just thought about that. About his and Elena's relationship before things started to change, how it was years ago. How Damon betrayed him. But as the nights came and went he started thinking deeper. When had Elena started feeling things for Damon? Was it Stefans fault? A part of it had to be Stefans fault. For not noticing, for not doing anything. He just _let_ her fall for Damon.

He checked one more time through the open door that Caroline was asleep, then closed the door and pulled out a package of red Marlboro from beneath a loose board in the ceiling and sat down in the chair again.

He smoked on and off for decades in the 20th century, mostly to calm his blood thirst. He officially quit in the 70's but now and then he liked to take a smoke just to clear his mind out. It soothed him.

He was just about to reach the Elena thoughts again when -

"Oh my god, are you _smoking_?!"

Caroline just stood there in her pink camisole and lacy pajama shorts, with messy hair, eyes bulging out.

Drawn out of his own thoughts, Stefan pulled his hand behind him as if he could hide it.

"I'm sorry did I wake you up?"

"I'm gonna try this again;_ are you smoking_?!" she demanded again, ignoring his question. Stefan sighed.

"It's a nasty habit." He told her, scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah totally..." She said her eyes trailing from the cigarette in his hand, to his eyes, then quickly out to the beach, then she met his gaze again.

"... can I have one?"

"_You_ smoke?!" he looked at her with big eyes.

She sat down in the chair beside him and put her feet up on the railing too. She took the package and the lighter laying at their feet.

"I did when I was younger, but I quit a couple of years ago." She said, taking out a cigarette of the package.

"Now – only on special occations." She said, putting the stick in her mouth and lightening it.

"Huh…" he said, taking a puff. "I learn something new about you every day Care."

"Ditto" she said, breathing out the smoke through her nose. "Now do you want to tell me what you've been out here thinking about the last couple of nights?"

"Well I've been having trouble sleeping."

"I know that you moron." She said looking out at the waves and the dark ocean.

"I didn't know you'd noticed. Thought you were asleep." He said, admiring her profile in the moonshine.

"I know that too you martyr." She said turning her head towards him.

"And I know that you're trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders all by yourself like you always do, I just want you to know that you don't _have _to. I'm here. I'm here every day and every night. Not because I _have_ to, but because I want to." She said, putting her still burning cigarette in the ashtray and taking one if his large hands in her two.

"I wanted to die, when I became a vampire Stefan. I was so sad and angry and confused; I was just, a big _mess_. And you untangled me. You made it _all right_ again. And for that I'll always owe you. But I'm not with you right now to pay off some debt. I'm with you because you're my _best friend,_ and I want to be here with and for you. Hell I dragged you here without even asking if you wanted to be with me." She laughed quietly, then met his eyes again.

"What I wanted to say is that I'm here because I want to be with you, and I want to help you as much as I can. I understand f you don't want to talk about it all or if you just want to be alone, I just want you to know that you can always talk to me." She wrapped it up, knowing she'd talked _too_ much but she didn't care, and squeezed his hand.

She was about to let go but was stopped, because Stefan's grip tightened around her hands.

"Thank you." He said, staring into her eyes with an almost frightening intensity.

"And I want you to know something too."

"You are the best friend I could ever have. I don't know what I would have done or what I would do if I didn't have you. You're not even aware of it but you have been my rock for a really long time now. A long time before Elena and I even broke up." He said, and she saw a fraction of a smile on his lips, but sorrow in his eyes.

"You're my best friend Care." He said, leaning forward and kissed her on her cheek.

No one had ever done such a thing for Caroline before. No one had ever with words told her she meant so much to them before, not even her parents. Stefan's words hit her right in the heart and she couldn't control her emotions.

She lowered her eyes so that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes, but he wouldn't have that.

Stefan lifted up her chin and made him look at him.

"I'm sorry," she said sniffeling. "I'm such a girl." Stefan stroked away the single tear she spilled from her cheek with hus thumb and gave her a sad smile. He knew the reason why she was crying and he couldn't understand why people never showed this good and pure and kind girl the appreciation she deserved.

She took a deep breath, collected herself and lifted the cigarette to her lips again.

"Now, tell me what's been eating your brain all these nights."

* * *

"So, why are we on the beach every day anyway?" Stefan asked, plopping a strawberry in his mouth which Caroline conveniently noticed he'd taken from their daily compelled fruit tray, but she didn't mention it.

"Why not? It's nice and warm and relaxing. I mean why shouldn't we lie on the beach and freakin' sunbathe? Fuck that we can't get a tan, it's the principal that matters and I want to sunbathe." she exclaimed animatedly, almost spilling out the pink drink she had in her hand.

"It's a big part of our Eat, pray and love trip." She smiled proudly and Stefan chuckled because seriously, where did this girl get it all from?

"Minus the pray and the love part. Unless you're not interested in some rebounding with one of these fine ladies" she spread out her hands around her, referring to all the old women on the beach, "or if you're like secretly really religious, that is."

"Nope and nope. I can assure you I'm not, I stopped believe in god a long time ago." He told her and took a new fruit from the tray.

"Well good, that helps with the whole Edward Cullen no soul thing." She chirped and Stefan just shook his head, still not understanding what she meant when she referred from the twilight books.

She was right though, he thought. When did he ever do anything just because he _wanted_ to, not because he _had _to? Yeah, why _shouldn't _he get to lie on the beach all day and just relax? He deserved this.

"Anyway, as I was saying, it's a part of our eat, heal and fun trip."

"Eat, heal and _fun_ trip?"

"Yep, and this is only the beginning."

* * *

_As always, cunstructive critisism is appreciated and I love you guys for reading my stories! See you soon!_


	3. To the Moon and Back

_A/N: Sorry to interrupt, I don't know if you even read the author's notes I write, any way this will probably be a long one. I suppose there will be some questions after this chapter and I totally understand that. Some questions will be answered in the next chapters, but don't be afraid to ask me if there's something you don't understand or if you think the characters are too OOC. _

_Also I wanted to thank all of you who've been pushing me to write this chapter. I know I've been slow, but I've been studying for a big exam and I promised myself that writing this chapter would be my reward, so here it is!_

_So now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's the new chapter!_

* * *

**3. To the Moon and Back**

* * *

They had been in Spain for a week now and something was not right. Stefan was behaving_ too_ well.

Sure, he was a lot quieter than he used to be, and he barely slept. He didn't talk about Elena with her, and Caroline respected that. Though she was _itching_ to _help him_ in any way; sort his thoughts out and console him or just be there and listen to him. But she understood that he didn't want to talk about it. So she let him deal with it in his own way, by himself. It was hard for her. She was a professional sorter, and had always been a little too prone to help people sort things out.

But she knew that if he someday would want to talk about it, about his pain and about Elena, he'd know that he could talk to her.

Though she couldn't stop thinking something was wrong. Stefan was too calm and Caroline was just waiting for the pot to boil over.

So she wasn't surprised when she came home from a blood raid at the local hospital in Cadiz one night and was met by a dark apartment and a distinct smell of fresh blood.

Once again she heard nothing but Stefan's erratic breathing. She dropped the ice bag with the blood bags on the floor and rushed to the bedroom.

Stefan was sitting on the white pristine linen of his bed, with his elbows on his knees, his face buried in his hands.

As she came closer, the smell of blood grew stronger, and there were lots of it. It was dried on his hands, under his nails, on the white sleeves and the collar of his shirt. He even had speckles of it in his hair. He knew that she was there but he didn't move, he just kept hiding his face, breathing shallowly and fast.

Caroline approached him slowly, as if he was a scared animal, which to some extent he actually was. When she was at arms reach she sank down on her knees, now at eye level with him, and placed her hands on his.

"Stefan" she said softly, slowly gripping his wrists, pulling them away from his face. But as she did, his head fell down, limply, as if his neck couldn't support it. Or he simply didn't want to look her in the eyes, she didn't know.

She brought her hands up to his neck, feeling the drying blood, coated there, and lightly pushed his head up so that she could see him.

His eyes were closed and there was even more blood smeared out on his cheeks and chin. She could even see small specks of it in his long, dark eyelashes. She knew it was awful but in some crazy weird part of her brain, she though he was beautiful right in that moment, his chiseled features covered in the heady maroon liquid. She quickly shook it away, blaming it on her natural vampire instincts or something, and focused.

"Honey" she coaxed him with her lightest, most comforting voice, stroking the skin underneath his eyes with her thumbs.  
"I'm here now, it's okay."

And when he opened his eyes she was once again paralyzed with how much pain she saw in them. It literally _hurt_ her too, just seeing him in this state. Suddenly she felt like _she_ was the one who needed comforting, but she pulled herself together.

A single tear left his eye and she pulled him into her arms, desperately wanting to cry herself, but keeping it calm on the outside for his sake. She put her arms around him, as if trying to shield him from the world, from everything, and he put his face in the hollow between her throat and shoulder.

"It's okay Stefan, I'm here." She tried to calm him, running her hands through his hair. "It's okay."

She didn't know if it was helping but she kept mumbling soothing nonsense to him until she heard his breathing even out, felt his shoulders slack and his arms snaking around her back.

She didn't know how long they sat like that, but she knew that he wouldn't be okay in a long time, and she thought it was best if they went to bed. She knew that he would fall asleep in exhaustion and he'd be more comfortable doing that in a bed. But first they needed to wash away the blood. It wouldn't help him to wake up from a terrible night with dried blood all over himself, she reasoned. So she grabbed his hands from around her back and leaned back to make eye contact.

His eyes were empty and exhausted and Caroline wanted to touch his face but Stefan didn't seem to want to let go of her hands.

"Come" she told him, standing up and pulling him up on his feet. It would have been impossible if it wasn't for her vampire strength. His eyes were blank and she knew he was far gone, but he followed her blindly into the bathroom, never letting go of her hands. She pushed him lightly backwards into the shower area and tried to let go of him to unbutton his shirt but his grip only tightened around hers.

"It's okay," she wriggled one hand out of his grip, placing it on the nape of his neck. "I won't let go." She said reassuringly, all the time using a soothing tone of voice, and after a while his hands fell limply to his sides.

With one hand still firmly seated at the base of his neck she started unbuttoning his white button down. When she was done she pushed the shirt down his shoulders and arms, constantly keeping the physical contact he seemed to need. She threw the shirt in the hamper on the other side of the bathroom, and when she turned around to face him again she was once again stricken by Stefan's beauty.

She had seen him without a shirt before, he'll they'd been half naked around each other all week on the beach, but this was different.

It was dark in the bathroom since she hadn't bothered to turn the lights on earlier, but the window at Stefan's left side let in a streak of moonlight from outside. It bathed him in a blue lustrous glow, strengthening his already strong features and muscles.

If the situation had been different she probably would've found the thought of undressing him awkward, but not now. This was too important, she thought as she let go of him and reached for the shower faucet.

He didn't flinch when the water hit him. He barely blinked. If this hadn't been a serious crisis Caroline would have been fascinated by the beads of pink water rolling down his throat and pectorals, but this was Stefan and he needed her to take care of him. So she stepped closer, ignoring that she was fully clothed, and carefully stroked the blood off of his face. Then she reached for the shampoo behind his back, soaking down her newly bought sundress in the process.

When she started massaging the shampoo into his hair, Stefan finally moved again. Letting his head fall back and closing his eyes, he let out a long breath and just let her take care of him.

* * *

Later that night, when they were tucked in, in the safety of Caroline's bed, she lay awake, listening to Stefan's deep breathing. Just like she thought, after she'd gotten him clean and dressed him in pajama pants and a clean shirt, he'd fallen asleep almost as fast as they'd gone to bed. Though not before placing his head close to hers and an arm safely around her abdomen.

It was scary, seeing Stefan like this. Like a small child, clinging to her, _needing_ her. It was frightening to see him this lost, because it had always been reversed with her and Stefan. It was always he who took care of her.

Though all this was unnerving, it pleased her that she could finally be of help this way.

It turned out Stefan didn't need help picking his brain, cry or talk all night, he just needed _her._ And that was the last thing Caroline thought before she closed her eyes that night.

* * *

They were the only ones left on the beach.

The sun was setting over the ocean, painting the sky thousands of different shades of pink, purple and orange. An almost nonexistent breeze carried light waves to the shore.

Stefan and Caroline were lying on their backs next to each other in comfortable silence, sharing a bottle of Jim Beam, nursing a pretty nice buzz. Nothing could be heard, except for the waves and the quiet buzz from the city. It was peaceful.

They had been lying there for hours, not saying or doing anything, except for raising the bottle to their mouths, until suddenly Stefan spoke up.

"I enjoyed it."

"What?" Caroline asked dreamily, still enchanted by the sky.

"I enjoyed it when she screamed and clawed at me." he said calmly, and Caroline turned to her side, studying his calm exterior. She kept quiet, feeling that he wasn't done yet.

"I barely even tasted her. I just… I just tore her apart." He paused. "Because I was angry at _her_."

Caroline sobered up directly. She didn't have to ask, she knew that he was talking about Elena. He attacked that woman because he was mad at _Elena_, he killed her because of _Elena_.

"I'm so angry and disappointed and it feels like she _ripped_ something out of my body, but at the same time I know it's my own fault. I went on a rampage with Klaus and practically pushed her into Damon's arms. And I didn't do anything when I knew she was falling for him. I could see it every time they were in the same room. Hell, everybody saw it. I just…" he paused, searching the darkening sky for the right words. "I just kept telling myself that our love was stronger than that, that we could conquer everything."

Caroline gently put her hand on his beside them in the sand, trying to give him some sort of support.

"And for once I thought that_ I_ would be enough."

Caroline's heart broke for him for the umpteenth time during this trip when she heard him say all of this.

_She didn't deserve you!_ She wanted to scream, but didn't.

"You did all that because you wanted to protect her, and protect your brother." She told him, squeezing his hand. "You did what you had to do to keep them safe, and you kept believing in her because that's who you_ are_ Stefan. And that's why you are _more_ than enough." She spoke slowly and emphasized words just to make sure that it would go straight to his brain.

"Hell, I would never even _think _of putting the word '_enough_' in the same sentence as your name because it doesn't fucking suffice."

Stefan's eyes left the sky and fell on Caroline's blue ones. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't understand how the naïve, self-centered, unsecure little girl he'd met only a couple of years ago had become this strong selfless woman that was talking to him right now. And he definitively couldn't believe how he'd been so lucky to have her by his side right now.

But he couldn't accept what she was saying, she thought too highly of him.

"I did all of that because of _selfish _reasons Care, there was never anything heroic in my intentions." He said, letting go of her hand and started playing with the sand on his sides. "Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm not supposed to find love." _Maybe I don't deserve it_, he thought.

The sun had sunk down below the horizon, leaving the ocean at the horizon a deep orange color. The air was cooler and the light breeze played with Stefan's hair. Caroline could even see how it made the small hairs on his arms sway.

"Stefan Salvatore," Caroline sighed and he turned his head to the side, locking eyes with her again. "you're the smartest person I know, but sometimes you're really fucking stupid." She said with a hint of a sad smile. She wanted to laugh or cry or maybe a bit of both, because he really didn't see himself clearly at all, and he probably hadn't in over a hundred years.

"The fact that you think your actions have been selfish every time you've saved our lives only makes you more selfless."

She saw that he was going to interrupt her but she didn't let him speak.

"You're not seeing yourself clearly Stefan and it makes me so sad to see. So I'm gonna try to help you with that, because you deserve to be happy. You really do." she said and raised her hand to stroke his cheek affectionately.

"And one day you're going to find a girl who loves you to the moon and back. A girl who loves you more than _anything_ or anyone else, who loves you more than life itself, and only _she_ will deserve you."


End file.
